You may hear from folks that, "you have anger issues". I do! I hurl a lot of vitriol at the morons out there who hold dear to their political idolatry much to the detriment of our democratic republic or disparage my teams or my pursuit of happiness! Damn right I do and that's my prerogative. But, in my case, it goes much deeper. So this is my confession: Bless me father, it has been a lifetime since my last confession.
I exist and still remain committed to my family and friends, my community and yet, just driving out of my driveway my day begins with expletives for the numerous bicyclists who give me dirty looks for just trying to leave my house, and then it cascades into the pitiful and ugly drive time to get anywhere in lieu of so many poor drivers. I see it most when trying to merge onto a highway, people driving at 45 MPH, and then my inner demons begin to cascade.
It doesn't end there, it just becomes my response to anything, every obstacle and anyone who is in line ahead of me, almost like an instant "fuck you" reflex. My inner self says, hey, I'm a senior!! I shouldn't have to wait! I was born and raised here, raised my family here, you fucking transplant, entitled mofo! I have 10 Grands and you're in front of me because, why? Get the fuck outta here! Yup, anger gets me through my day. It empowers me! If you think that ageism is not alive and well, I have news for you! I get dirty looks, pathetic treatment and my anger puts a smile on my face because I know, I'm good! I'm relevant and I'm feisty and you better not fuck with me because I can and will respond with treachery! That's right! I'm a senior!!
So, I'm thinking as I am headed toward 74 and so many of my generation are dropping like flies, heaven forbid I could be next, that perhaps "Anger" as we know is healthy? Is it possible that anger is a necessary attribute to surviving the chaos and the humanity of life in 2024 as an elderly person?
In my case, anger keeps me motivated. It enables my madness and gives me purpose. Yes, I'm an asshole!! I accept that name, I have earned that name! I've earned that label! I have survived raising a family here in the wealthiest county on the planet! I survived having multiple careers and I'm the stronger because of my anger, not because of my being a, "nice person". I volunteer a lot. I give back to my community more than most and then some, and I am not timid in this regard, not because I'm a "nice person", but because I'm angry that I have to do these acts of kindness for things to remain the same, to barely maintain the status quo. Dame right! I'm pissed off and I'm not going to take it anymore!!
So, what's my point? I have no point! I'm merely sharing with you my thoughts as to how I survive and remain engaged in life in the 21st century with the chaos and virtual world expanding all around me. I'm getting old and I can now accept my "angry, bitter old man" status. Not because I am on the back nine, so to speak, but because I accept these faults as attributes, and value my anger as healthy!
In closing, I'll just say that I think that we all have the same thoughts and suppress them the best we can! Trying to remain calm and zen like are healthy attributes and not lost on me, but truly, if you want to get things done, you have to be tough, you have to have "sand" you have to fight for every square inch to remain valid otherwise the world will step on you like a bug! And fighting for what you believe implies anger, fortitude and resolve. Purpose!
So the next time somebody implies or says it straight up to your face, "You're an asshole", just acknowledge by saying, "Duh, yeah! Nice to meet you too"! Now, fuck off!! I got stuff to do, a life to live!!
In the glorious words of FILOLI, Fight, Love, Live!!