Fuck Dementia!
- Angelo J Rossi
- May 17
- 3 min read
Updated: May 18
I'm now surrounded by Dementia! Everywhere, my family, friends, colleagues and such. Personally, I would not be surprised if my cats have it too. I believe the pervasiveness may be climate relatesd, but that's a political hot potato, right, so let's not do anything and let tRump and his mentally afflicted administration of idiots manage it? We're doomed!
Personally, I am surrounded and living with a loved one suffering this affliction and have been for 5+ years. I am now acting primary care, which is like the blind leading the deaf, leading the paralyzed following a shadow. And of course, there's no cure, right? Maybe it's just part of getting old, but then some of my younger pals, healthy family members are being afflicted. So this shite is random.
And when you look up the definition of and description you learn that it's a class of mental illness. And under the heading of definition there are several well known symptoms, Alzheimers, Parkinson's, Huntington's Jeezuz.. Mary, & Giuseppe!
So, what about me? I am sitting here watching the love of my life suffer, her body breaking down, her memories and grasp of reality slowly turning inside out, a mashup of greatest memories in random order now, sporadically dispersed in silo's of WTF? I'm beginning to think this shit is catchy. I wonder if I'm now going crazy trying to be here, 7x24x365.
I know I'm a selfish person, but at least I'm here. My wife's family and friends all stop by and give advice and then leave. Nobody really gives a fuck actually. Everybody's an expert but nobody is here as a constant but little ole' me because its' my cross to bear. It's expected. "You deal with it"! "She's your partner" and poof, they're all gone. Yeah, nobody wants to deal with this shit, but I am required by proximity, not blood, or legally. but having lived in the orbit of this once lovely, sophisticated, intelligent and brilliant BFF means it's my responsibility. I am now being held hostage, it's ridiculous!
And then there are the legal and relationship entanglements that exacerbate, frustrate and cause me to lay awake at night staring at the ceiling. Unfortunately, after 30 years together, I am not the heir to her estate. Her son has power of attorney and of course, he lives in another state and can only visit, so dealing with the legalities and doctor visits, banking and monetary issues get very sticky and disgustingly confusing and I am the target of finger pointing. Again, my cross to bear. You would think my name is Jesus, right? Crucifixion would be a relief at this point.
This rant is me trying to justify my pity party and I'm failing. I'm lost and out of my mind trying to live my life, hold my Real Estate business together, keep my musical endeavors from becoming and advert for camp Alzheimers. I'm not going to win this war, but the battle goes on every day. If you see me, have some sympathy, empathy and have a puff in my honor because I am losing everything enduring this slow death walk. You may not recognize me when you see me next, so, just pretend, thanks!
Interesting research and possible help on the way. Thank you UCSF
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